The doctor was concerned about my expanding belly at the last few doctor appointments. She discussed the possibility of a large baby and c-section with me and that had me worried. The thought of being strapped down to a table while someone pulls something out of my insides like a Halloween pumpkin didn’t appeal to me (actually neither birthing methods appeal to me but I found the c-section option slightly more sickening). I had an ultrasound at 38 weeks and the ultrasound tech predicted a 7.5 to 8.5 pound baby by my 39th week. Yikes! The doctor recommended we try the “normal” birthing method and we scheduled the induction for Tuesday, October 11th (a little over 39 weeks).
The morning of the induction, Kevin woke me up singing, “Tonight, tonight we’re going in tonight, they are giving you medicine and….” For posterity’s sake I omitted the rest of the hilarious and slightly crass little ditty. Kevin and I checked in at the hospital after a lovely steak dinner at Outback and ice cream at Baskin Robbins. If it was going to be my last meal I wanted to go out with a good one. After getting our room, I was hooked up to the monitors that measure the contractions and Ethan’s heartbeat.
Once they started the Cervidil the discomfort began. The Cervidil and I didn’t get along and the nurse was not as gentle as my doctor. My doctor told me they would give me Ambien so I could sleep through the night but the nurse recommended that I decline the sleep aid so I opted to go without. Kevin, however, did not. I swear he swallowed the whole bottle of Nyquil because he was out before midnight. I watched television for a while and I think I fell asleep for about three or so hours. My contractions were irregular but appeared fairly strong on the monitor. The nurse was surprised I was not feeling significant discomfort from them but the soreness from the Cervidil was my central focus.
Early morning, on October 12th, my contractions were stronger and I would grab on to the handrail and hold my breath until they passed. They were strong but still irregular ranging from two to ten minutes apart. By mid-morning, I was pretty miserable. Lack of sleep, the uncomfortable hospital bed, and the reaction to the Cervidil were wearing me out. After twelve hours, it was finally time to prepare for the Pitocin. The nurse removed the Cervidil, and told me I could shower before they started the Pitocin. I was in a lot of discomfort at this point, extremely fatigued and I started sobbing uncontrollably in the shower. Kevin came in and hugged me. I asked if he could hear me in the room and was extremely embarrassed to find out that he could…and so could the nurse. But I couldn’t seem to stop. It took me a while to regain composure and I returned to the concrete hard hospital bed.
Once they started the Pitocin the real contractions hit, I would watch the clock, bracing myself for the next one. They were powerful and took my breath away. Kevin was watching a random cartoon with an alien headless chicken trying to plunge off the head of an old woman. I found this oddly engaging and welcomed the bizarre distraction.
My next exam I was at a four and the doctor decided to break my water. I braced myself but it wasn’t the painful ordeal that had been described on the internet. She told me I could get the epidural now and I was totally down for that! I got it about five minutes later. Kevin held my feet as I hunched over for the epidural. Again, I braced myself for something horrific but you can’t believe everything you read... It didn’t hurt at all. I immediately started to feel a burning in my feet. I progressed rapidly and felt much better. I was still very aware of the contractions and started to feel them in my back. The pain increased and I wanted to press the button for more pain relief but felt prompted that I should not. Soon after, Ethan’s heartbeat became irregular. They tried rotating me in different positions but it didn’t help much. Then I was put on oxygen. I was not breathing well. I began thinking about how painful it would be to be leaving the hospital without my baby. The doctor came when I was at a nine and said we would be ready to push soon. She also told the nurse to stop my epidural…P.S.I still like her.
Ethan went into fetal distress and they had me get in a semi plank position on my knees. That was a difficult feat as I could not feel my legs and was incredibly shaky from the transition phase. The nurse, doctor and Kevin helped me turn around and I stayed in this position for a while with my head facing the pillow, and tears streaming down my face. I was glad I had not pushed the button for more pain relief as there would have been no way I could have used my legs to turn. The sound of Ethan’s heartbeat became more irregular and the nurse told me not to worry; everyone was keeping an eye on the monitor at the nurse station. That made me worry even more. Kevin came over and quietly told me he had prayed. He also told me I was beautiful and glowing. Ha. But that made me think back to a blessing that he given me. I knew I was being watched over. Not only by my Heavenly Father but also by my family members who have passed on.
After twenty-five minutes or so they had me flip over. The back contractions were worse than the abdominal ones and I was really starting to notice them since they stopped the epidural. Ethan was still pretty high but the doctor thought we should get him out fairly quickly. I was practically delirious at this point. Kevin was standing by me and the doctor told him to grab a leg. I was amazed at how fast he acted when he been telling me for nine months he would stay in the waiting room. Truthfully, I was not so sure I wanted him seeing me in such a fashion. Thus, began the hardest exercise regimen I have ever experienced in my life. The doctor would count down starting at ten, three times and I had to push for the entire three counts. I had a second to breathe between the counts but couldn’t seem to gasp for air. I was so worn out I couldn’t open my eyes. Kevin, the nurse and the doctor acted like Julian Michaels on The Biggest Loser. Time and time again I was told to breath. After pushing for a while, the doctor discovered Ethan had turned posterior and was able to turn him around and thankfully, the back contractions ended. Pushing with my eyes closed, I pictured a pink coffin in an uncovered grave and tried to conjure positive thoughts. I thought of the hymn, “I Need Thee Every Hour” but between pushes I only repeated the first line. I silently asked Heavenly Father for the strength I needed to deliver Ethan and prayed for his well being. The doctor said she could see him and told Kevin to look. Kevin seemed to get more amped up and chimed in with the coaching even more.
The doctor said the baby was not doing well. This provided more motivation to push and I did everything I could. Ethan got stuck in the birth canal for a while and the pushes went back and forth without being very constructive. I thought for sure any minute they would have me wheeled out for a caesarian. But then he came! I pushed for about 42 minutes. Kevin said, “he’s here, he’s here, Jess, you did it!” I heard the doctor frantically ask the nurse for assistance because the cord had been wrapped around his neck twice and body once and she was having a difficult time removing it.
Then, for the first time in my life, I heard a baby cry and thought it was beautiful. They held him up for me and I felt an overwhelming feeling of happiness and gratitude. They laid him on my chest and I got to hold my little man for the first time. I still can’t how beautiful he is.
